The Rules, Second Edition

Everything's been squared away with Doc Beakman. It's amazing what that man will agree to as long as you call it a "social experiment." Did I ever tell you that he works for one of the big guys? I serve the Empress-- The Wooden Girl. He works for the Magician, who I suppose most people know as the Plague Doctor.

Now, we move onto my game. His experiment. My rules. Pay attention now, because, as they say, this shit be complicated.

First, you should understand who our contestants are. Why, they are all the inmates in this lovely sanitarium! Their fate is in your hands.

So, the rules:

1. I will periodically post riddles on this blog, along with two brief dossiers containing patient information. Whoever solves the riddle chooses on of those two patients to be "eliminated." The riddles on this blog are henceforth known as the Elimination Rounds.

2. This hapless orderly has been selected to deliver the second set of riddles: the Salvation Rounds. The rules are the same as for the Elimination Rounds, except that this time the puzzle solver selects an inmate to be made immune to elimination.

3. Grace shall not be participating. Yet. I have other plans for her.

4. Since I am Oh So Busy, my Misfits will be keeping an eye on things, making sure it all runs smoothly. I just realized that I never properly introduced them...

Crybaby is some old fool whose constantly turning on the water works. You ever seen an old man cry? It's hilarious. He'll be keeping an eye on "R.Z." the hapless ordlerly, making sure he doesn't try to cheat or alert the authorities.

Face is an incredibly boring man for whom "humor" is merely an outdated medical term. He'll be my liaison with Beakman. I imagine the two will get along well. Neither is particularly interesting.

Mr. Bun is the muscle of the group. Big guy. He also has a really annoying voice, which is why I sewed his mouth shut. He'll be assisting Crybaby in keeping an eye on R.Z.

Gigglepuss is the man who understands how to tell a good check. My most successful pupil. He also loves pain. Cuts himself all the time, all over his body. If I had to criticize, I'd say his beard makes him look like a hobo. He will, of course, be monitoring the situation in Shady Lawn Sanitarium.

Lady is the youngest of the Misfits. We use him to put people off guard. Flirtatious fellow, though sometimes I think his heart isn't into it. That probably has something to do with the time I took a jigsaw to his crotch. He'll be keeping Grace company, and helping to prep her for her role.

And that's all for now, dearies. The games start tomorrow.