Monday, June 25, 2012


No answers yet? Time's a-wasting here, ladies and gentlemen. I know I didn't set a time limit, but I want to get this thing over with and move on already. We have plans. Plans within plans, actually.

So provide an answer with the next two days or I "eliminate" one person for every day you don't answer.

Sound good?

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Last Elimination

Well, hello. I'm sure you were wondering where I've been. I did say that the last elimination round would have gone up, oh, nearly a month ago. But then it took longer than anticipated to set a few things in motion. I'll admit, there were some mistakes made, some unforeseen circumstances. (I'm sure you all noticed Grace's comatose state -- which came far too early, I'm afraid.)

But all of that is in the past now. We are at the halfway point and we must proceed. So here is the last elimination round. Our friend, the Orderly, has already chosen the next person who will be protected.

Anyway, here are those that have been eliminated and saved:

James Dees
Paul Ross
Thomas Dial
Natalia Steiner

Michael Teofilo
Jasper Oakley
Lee Smith
Grace Smith

Now, that just leaves Heath Able, Stephen Anthony, Lance Boyle, James Cox, Jill de Rais, Mary Elizabeth Earl, Jessica Giddens, Brandon Henley, William Hogarth, David Manson, John Marshall, Raymond Rutherford, Christopher Silas, and Ruby Walsh to choose from. Fourteen inmates.

You will choose three people to save. The rest will be placed in the elimination column.

And here is your riddle for this last round:


Please provide me with the correct answer. Any incorrect answers will result in one person from the list placed on the elimination column.

Thank you.

Edit: Oh, also, if you have the entire cheat code, you can save one person from the list for free. Go on.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


This game isn't nearly as lively as the original...

So let's make a deal.

The next Salvation and Elimination rounds will the final rounds. The remaining inmates will be split between the two. Whichever is solved first, the inmates associated will be either protected or eliminated, except for two who the solver chooses. For example, let's say the Elimination has Bob, Suzy, and Chad, and the Salvation has Larry, Hanna, and Mike. If the Salvation Round is solved first, then Larry, Hanna, and Mike are protected. The person who solved the round then picks only one out of Bob, Suzy, and Chad to save. The others are eliminated.

Once this round is complete, we will move on to the second, more interesting part of the game.

Places, everyone. The final Salvations and Eliminations go up tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Fix

Here, have a new riddle:


And to make up for the idiot's mistake, I'll even help you out on this one. It's blowfish, obviously. As for the key? Well, it's one way to describe what Gigglepuss did, and a certain comic book character who bears an unfortunate resemblance to me has become somewhat notorious for them.

Same inmates as before. Take as much time as you want. No penalties.

And to further make amends, I'll even throw in a bonus:

The first word of the Cheat Code is "Methods"

Now stop jerking off and play my game.

EDIT: Also, the answer has nothing to do with punctuation. Unfortunately, certain punctuation marks get lost in the coding process. So once it's been decoded, just insert the missing bits where necessary.

I Would Apologize But....

It seems that Gigglepuss FUCKED UP.

You see, the riddle was supposed to be converted to ROT13 and then run through an md5 encryption. BUT, for some reason, the encryption refused to save to any databases Giggles put it through, and the MORON didn't bother to check.

He's been disciplined. Not through corporal punishment obviously, he likes that. I've got him locked up in a cold dark place with no room to move while he thinks about what he did.

I would apologize, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, but I'm just as disappointed in all of you. Since I left, it seems that you have done absolutely nothing to advance this game. The only thing that came even close to an attempt to solve the riddle was some idiot asking if it was md5, apparently on the assumption that if the string of text looks almost exactly like the last md5-encoded riddle, then it certainly must not be md5.

In fact, I blame your laziness just as much as I blame Gigglepuss' idiocy for the fact that I now have three inmates in the local hospital, receiving medical treatment for the substantial amount of blood that they lost under Giggles' knife. This is such an inconvenience for me. What, you think just because they were eliminated for the game, I don't have plans for them? I have dreams too you know. But not one of you assholes ever stopped to think about me, did you?

So, in the end, everyone is fucking retarded except for me. But what are you going to do?

If this keeps up, I may be forced into the second phase of the game sooner than intended, and I can't be held responsible for poor sweet little Grace when that happens. Speaking of Grace, I wonder if she'll ever wake up?

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Elimination 4

Hiiiiiiiii guys! Mr. Jester is away at the moment, so I, Gigglepuss, the most AWESOME of Misfits will be your host for this evening!

Our inmates this time around may include someone you recognize from a previous riddle. You neglected to save him, so will you damn him?


Name: Natalia Steiner

Condition: Violent tendencies. Irrational fear of cats.

History: Natalia Steiner recently graduated college with a degree in Philosophy. She moved into her first apartment over the summer. During this time, cats around the neighborhood began to go missing. It was soon discovered that she had been killing them and keeping their bodies in a trunk in her kitchen. When questioned, she claimed that they were the devil in disguise, come to spy on her.


Name: William Hogarth

Condition: Suffers from intense paranoia and delusions

History: Once worked in criminal justice. Following a string of gruesome murders, he was arrested by the police. Hogarth maintained that he did not kill anyone, and that a whispering monster had done it. Because of his belief, he was institutionalized. After about a month, he was transported from England to the United States, and placed under Dr. Beakman's care in Shady Lawn Sanitarium. He has begun to slowly recover from his condition.



Oh, I know Mr. Jester always gave a time limit, but those are no fun. How about you take as much time as you want, and for every hour it goes unsolved, I administer a cut to one of the Eliminated? That's much more fun, don't you think?  

Monday, April 30, 2012

A Slight Break

I'm a fair man. I've decided to give you some time to Save a few inmates over on RZ's blog. I've decided to let you play with Grace and Lady some more.

And I am most certainly not stalling to give the good doctor time to uphold his end of the game. No siree, that's not what I'm doing at all!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Elimination 3


Name: Thomas Dial-

Condition: Severe Narcolepsy

History: Developed Narcolopsy during adolescence. The condition was minor at first, but as he grew older, he began to fall asleep more an more often. Prior to being sent to Shady Lawn, he fell asleep at the wheel of his truck, causing a collision that killed three people.


Christopher Silas-

Condition: Antisocial Personality Disorder

History: Since childhood, Christopher has routinely put others in harm's way, bullied his classmates, and manipulated people into giving him what he wants. He has been arrested multiple times for multiple crimes. At his most recent trial, he was found Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity, as he seemed unable to understand why his crimes were wrong, and showed no remorse over his many victims.



Two days.

Good luck.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Elimination 2


Name: John Marshall-

Condition: Stage six Alzheimer's disease.

History: Mr. Marshall's descent into madness was a slow, albeit excruciating one. He showed manyof the obvious symptoms of Alzheimer's such as minor lapses in memory, continuously losing personal objects and becoming socially withdrawn and moody in challenging situations without much danger to himself or his surroundings. However, after a particularly vicious outburst involving a frozen turkey and the belief that his daughter was an imposter sent from hell, he was admitted to our institution with little chance of release. Court date pending.


Name: Paul Ross-

Condition: Pyromania

History: Mr. Ross had a liking for setting ants on fire as a child. Continuing into adolescence, he kidnapped small animals and trapped them in cages, setting them aflame to watch them die. At the age of 18, he was caught in the act of literally barbequing his neighbor's chihuahua in his front garden. His lawyer begged for an insanity defense, and so he found his way to Shady Lawn.


After that last one, it's clear that I overestimated your abilities. So here's a riddle that should be closer to your level:

pof qmvt pof frvbmt......?

Once again you have two days. I would have given you only one day, but like I said, I've decided to be merciful to you pack of mental deficients. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Elimination 1

Let's meet who we're voting for today, hm?


Name: Heath Able

Condition: Insists that there is someone hiding in his skin. Cuts himself open in order to get this person out.

History: Graduated Valedictorian of his high school, with a scholarship to Havard University. However, over the summer his mental state began to show signs of sharp deterioration. Before his colleges classes started, he began cutting at himself. He was interred at Shady Lawn shortly thereafter.


James Dees

Condition: Extreme mysophobia

History: Records indicate that Dees showed signs of mysophobia since childhood, though it was minor. He was fastidiously clean and refused to go outside during recess for fear of getting dirty. Over the years, his phobia progressively got worse. Before being admitted to Shady Lawn, he owned an apartment and spent all day cleaning it with bleach in an attempt to kill any bacteria. He was so intent on this work that he neglected everything else and nearly starved himself to death.


I'll start you out with something easy-- even easy than Minstrel's stupid things:

Ti woflswol oyu evreewhr uoy og. Ti tancon eb ense utb ti nac eb rdeha. 

Two days to solve it. Remember to post your choice along with your answer.

Oh, and if it's not solved before time limit's up, both are eliminated.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Rules, Second Edition

Everything's been squared away with Doc Beakman. It's amazing what that man will agree to as long as you call it a "social experiment." Did I ever tell you that he works for one of the big guys? I serve the Empress-- The Wooden Girl. He works for the Magician, who I suppose most people know as the Plague Doctor.

Now, we move onto my game. His experiment. My rules. Pay attention now, because, as they say, this shit be complicated.

First, you should understand who our contestants are. Why, they are all the inmates in this lovely sanitarium! Their fate is in your hands.

So, the rules:

1. I will periodically post riddles on this blog, along with two brief dossiers containing patient information. Whoever solves the riddle chooses on of those two patients to be "eliminated." The riddles on this blog are henceforth known as the Elimination Rounds.

2. This hapless orderly has been selected to deliver the second set of riddles: the Salvation Rounds. The rules are the same as for the Elimination Rounds, except that this time the puzzle solver selects an inmate to be made immune to elimination.

3. Grace shall not be participating. Yet. I have other plans for her.

4. Since I am Oh So Busy, my Misfits will be keeping an eye on things, making sure it all runs smoothly. I just realized that I never properly introduced them...

Crybaby is some old fool whose constantly turning on the water works. You ever seen an old man cry? It's hilarious. He'll be keeping an eye on "R.Z." the hapless ordlerly, making sure he doesn't try to cheat or alert the authorities.

Face is an incredibly boring man for whom "humor" is merely an outdated medical term. He'll be my liaison with Beakman. I imagine the two will get along well. Neither is particularly interesting.

Mr. Bun is the muscle of the group. Big guy. He also has a really annoying voice, which is why I sewed his mouth shut. He'll be assisting Crybaby in keeping an eye on R.Z.

Gigglepuss is the man who understands how to tell a good check. My most successful pupil. He also loves pain. Cuts himself all the time, all over his body. If I had to criticize, I'd say his beard makes him look like a hobo. He will, of course, be monitoring the situation in Shady Lawn Sanitarium.

Lady is the youngest of the Misfits. We use him to put people off guard. Flirtatious fellow, though sometimes I think his heart isn't into it. That probably has something to do with the time I took a jigsaw to his crotch. He'll be keeping Grace company, and helping to prep her for her role.

And that's all for now, dearies. The games start tomorrow.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Enough of That

Don't bother trying to solve that last "riddle." Minstry cheated and just wrote gibberish. He admitted as much to me after I gave him a very stern lecture about the ethics of playing games. So he was a phony. Couldn't even play any instruments.

And don't expect Minstry to post anymore. I'd let him tell you why himself, but his face is currently nailed above the doorframe. It's not a very nice looking face.

Hold on...

Oh, I remember him! Victor! Or Vince. His name definitely started with V anyway. Yeah, I met him years ago. You know me and him go way back to his childhood, see? We had a business arrangement-- he gave me his parent's wallets, I showed him what the inside of a woman was like. Kept the heart as a souvenir.

So that just leaves the question of what to do with this here blog. I'd hate to disappoint those people who came here looking for a game. But I don't want a game that's as simple and braindead as Minstry's.

Hmmmmmm... Now I have an idea. I'll have to go speak with Doctor Beakman. Call it a "Social Experiment." That sounds medical and shit, right?

Oh, forgive me. I never introduced myself.

Hello all. I am Jester. May the games begin.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Third Riddle

Well, fine. I suppose you're laughing at me? My riddles are so easy? Well I'm just getting warmed up.

GhfrLyu JnbgtREwblu QazplbvrcVNM dsaioYObuasdi?

Once again: Two days. Let's see you solve this if you're so smart!

Second Riddle

Congratulations, booba. Or not. SOMEONE decided to give away the solution.

Anyway, here's the second riddle:

94428 4447777 777766699955533668 4777333366?

You have two days.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The First Riddle

Let me sing you a song:


You have two days

The Rules

Meet Grace

She's just had a bad trip.

Want to know a secret? I did that. I mixed up her medication. And I can do it again.

So here's the rules: I post a riddle, and you have two days to solve it. If you don't solve it in time, Grace goes on a trip to cookoo lala land, and who knows what sharp objects might find their way into her room?

The first riddle goes up soon enough, dearies.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Just a Song

Gather 'round, ye children, and I shall sing ye song.

Some time ago, there was a woman named Grace Smith. She had a twin brother named Derek. Grace loved her brother, but one day he was taken away by a madman calling himself the Jester.

Derek was placed in a cabin, all alone, and Jester announced that Derek's life would depend on a game.

Jester would post coded riddles, and whoever solved the riddles would be given a choice regarding Derek's living conditions. Would he receive junk food or health food? A dishwasher or a clothes washer? That sort of thing. Meanwhile, Grace was receiving her own riddles. Riddles which led her across the United States, in search of her brother.

But there was a secret that Grace did not know. She had an alternate personality. Once it had called itself Karen, but nowadays it preferred the name Kevin. Jester had met Karen long ago, when she was a child, and had offered to help her become "The Princess of Puppets." For you see, Jester is the servant of a being known as the Wooden Girl, who controls people and makes them her dolls.

Karen hadn't left with him. And now Jester would have his revenge.

When Grace found the cabin, she found her brother within. But he was Derek no longer. The Wooden Girl had entangled him in her strings, and he was a mere puppet now. He attacked Grace, and she had no choice but to defend herself.

No choice but to kill her own brother.

And what became of Grace? Well, she found herself in Shady Lawn Sanitarium, under the care of renowned psychologist, Dr. Beakman. She has left the incident behind.

But I think it's time for a new game.

I am the Minstrel, and I shall bring new fun into Grace's life.

Stay tuned.